What a bright light she is!!

All the complaining I do on this blog about the stress of Diabetes, I don't often talk about my very strong and very brave little girl!!! So here it goes..........

Olivia is a seven year old girl that yes has type 1 Diabetes, but she's so much more than that!! She is the love of my life, she is my best friend, she's the best sister these boys could ask for, she's strong and brave, and she is such a bright light!!! She has a special sparkle in her eye, she's full of life!! As I sit here typing this she is dancing around my family room, God she is a amazing kid!! I feel so blessed and privileged to raise her, so through all our struggles and battles I wouldn't change one thing. I will fight a million fights to be lucky enough to have her along side me!! I sometimes wonder where her strength comes from, I'd love to say me, but I know I wasn't that strong when I was a kid. I think I have only found my strength in the recent years, I have only now became the person I am because of her. She has made me appreciate life so much more, she's given me a reason to fight a good fight, I now have a clear purpose and this purpose is to find this little girl a cure!! I wish you all had a chance to know her, and for those of you that do know her, you know what a little firecracker she is!!! So she'll dance, sing and play and be as innocent as she can be, I hope this lasts forever!!! Although I know it won't I know one day she will have to deal with this disease on her own, and I will slowly have to let go. So I count everyday as a blessing, and every day I get her sugar right I can smile that day, that day I did right by her, that day didn't take any future from her!! Hugs your kids extra tight tonight!!!

I hate to say it, but I'm so tired!!

It's so terrible to say but I feel so exhausted, this battle is one that truly never gives you a time out!! I feel so tired and stressed all the time!! In my free time I'm researching about Diabetes or this pump or carbs in this food, I very rarely ever do things like take baths or read a book (unless it's about Diabetes)! I have been consumed, and now I'm feeling so beaten down!! Allot of it may have to do with the winter....YES, I hate it!! But I just need a break, I know I'm not going to get one, but I feel like I need one :) Tim and I went out for Valentines day to dinner for about a hour and half and got three calls!! Now I love my kids more than anything, and I truly don't mind anyone calling, actually I prefer it, it's just kinda like the reality of it all hits you. Most people can go out to dinner, or go out and not have to stress about what their kids sugar is going to be, and if your going to be able to properly calculate the carbs over the phone, without even seeing the food!! Yikes...I think I just needed to vent a little here! Every time there is a holiday I get a little overwhelmed, including Valentines day! I hate school parties, and all the junk food that is associated with every darn holiday, people wonder why kids are fat....really??? So anyways this is just my little rant and rave!!

Praying for warmer days!!!!

The fight for the Omnipod!!

So we (Olivia) have decided on the Omnipod, she wore one around for three days and loves it!!! It's a pump with no tubing and it just sticks onto your skin, pretty cool. We would just change this pod every 2-3 days, so just one poke every three days instead of 12 shots!!! Sounds great right...well my Doctor, Dr. Halsey is refusing to sign off on the papers that I need signed for Olivia to get the Pod, what a JERK!! He said he wants to make it a "team" decision, not a "my decision", but yet he won't meet with me until her scheduled opt. in two months!!!! So I spent a day on the phone calling doctors and found one in Grand Rapids that can get her in on March 18th. So we're on hold until then and just hoping that he will be willing to sign off on the papers!!

Olivia's sugars have been a little crazy!! She calls me at 10:00 from school every morning and she has been between 400-450 every day for two weeks...ahhh...I'm going out of my mind!! We keep upping her dosage, but can't break this cycle, I just don't know what to do!! She did get strep throat and a ear infection...ugh..I don't think the sickness is ever going to end!! So maybe this is why she is running high. She has confessed to me a few times now that school is hard for her, it's hard not to be able to eat what all the other kids are eating. Her school gives out WAY too much candy, and she has to be strong enough to say no. Also with her sugars being so high it's hard for her to concentrate, so maybe she is a little stressed out and this is effecting her sugar. I'm thinking of home schooling her, I think it might be best for her physically and emotionally. I don't want her to miss out, but I do want her to feel normal (as possible) and not have to stress about food all the time. Who knows, this whole disease makes you feel lost...I am lost, just trying to do the best I can!!